Thursday, January 8, 2015

A Day in the Life (Confessions of a SAHM)

"Hey honey,  what did you do today?" I get this question most days. The question that runs through my mind is "Do I tell him the truth, does he really want to know?"

 I know what he's been doing. Trying to teach some 150+ underprivileged  Freshman the ins and outs of grammar and sentence structure, and begging them to please read the book that they chose to read for this term.

What did I do? Nothing nearly as great and lofty as that. I'd like to say I had a magical mommy day, enjoying each and every shining moment with our preschooler. Giving her my time and attention, and helping her grow into an amazing intelligent young lady. All while keeping a beautiful home, and serving others along the way.

The truth is something more like this . . .

First things first.
I drove the kids to school in my pj's, again. But, I didn't hit any kids with my car this time, so yea! Then I had the daily shower debate with myself. Do I really need one? I had one yesterday, and I didn't really do anything to get dirty. I finally decided my second day hair looks better than my first day hair did, so no shower. I just get dressed and since I have to leave the house today I'll use extra deodorant, and put on makeup!

On to the housework.
Make my bed, yes I do make my bed. It's one of my few "things". I can't sleep in an unmade bed. Now let's see, the rest of the house is actually still pretty clean from yesterday, and our three year old didn't wet her bed, so housework done! Waste 20 minutes on the computer checking all the "very important" things that happened in the world while I was sleeping.

The three year old.
Wrestle her into seasonly appropriate clothes, it is 34 degrees outside after all, and while that pink heart sundress was her favorite in August, it's not really going to work for today. Dry her broken hearted tears, and try to distract her with something shiny. Look! Dress up clothes, lets play with those till its time to leave.

The extra child.
She arrives at 8 ready to play for the day. Oh good, another distraction for the three year old, maybe we won't have a hair melt down today too!

Potty break.
I go in the bathroom to take care of mommy business, only to find that a certain monthly friend has come to call. Oh good, I'm not pregnant this month either! (sigh of relief, and tiny victory!)
But wait! It seems that my sweet precious oldest baby, now 14 years old, has used all but one tampon, and failed, once again, to inform me of that development.

To the store we go.
Explain to the three year old for the hundredth time that we HAVE to wear a coat when we go outside. Force her into it, and then strap her into to the carseat. Making sure all 27 tiny toys she had to bring with her, a placed safely in her lap. Check that the extra child is secure and happy, good. Run to the store for just one quick box of tampons before we have to be at Sporties for Shorties. Quickly buy tampons, plus $30 of other random groceries I suddenly remember we needed. Drive to the local community center and arrive just in time for the class.

Lunch.
Make a mad dash to the house for something to take to the weekly potluck lunch with the other mommies. Scrounge up something super fast, cream cheese, raspberry chipotle sauce and tortilla chips,  done! Arrive at the potluck, eat way too much while kids load up in chips, brownies, and root beer. Have a great time chatting with the other mom's and stay way too long. Leave just in time to get in the ridiculous pick up lane at the elementary school, and wait 30 minutes for school to let out.

Back at home.
It's now 3:15. Husband will be home in 45 minutes. Quickly clean up the breakfast dishes and run the dishwasher. Wipe down the counters, and suddenly remember to check the weekly menu. What was I supposed to make for dinner tonight? Oh good, breakfast night. Nothing that was supposed to be cooking in the crockpot all day. Woo Whoo!

4:00
Husband walks in the door. "Hey honey, the house looks great! You must have been busy, what did you do today?"

Ummm . . .


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