I haven't posted anything for a while on here, and it really is not like me to be radio silent for so long.
I feel like I can't move on with this blog until I address the elephant in the room. It has been extremely hard for me to move on with my life since my brother Thomas died. He passed away unexpectedly at the end of August, actually it was the girl's second day of school. I left in a rush to be with my family, and many things here at home got dropped or put on hold at that time.
Since being back home I have struggled to settle down into normal life again. Things are getting better now. I fight myself most days to get out and be around people. My instinct is to hide away from the world and lick my wounds. I have been committing myself to do things with people. That way I have no excuse, I have to get out; I have to smile and chat. I have been scheduling things at my house during the day. Filling up my rooms with other moms and children, with laughs and smiles, and noise. It helps me to forget, for a while. I dread when everyone leaves, the emptiness of my house is too much. I hate when it's time for me go home from being out with people. I don't quite know what to do with myself.
It's getting better though. I don't cry all the time anymore. I can get myself up and moving without much of a struggle anymore. Life keeps on moving, and it's taking me with it. I feel like I have been drowning, slowly sinking below the surface, but now I can feel myself rising up again. I have broken through the surface of the water and taken a breath.
I'm moving forward, and with that movement comes updating our family blog.
More to come soon,
I promise.
